Canvas Rebel: Meet Priya Tahim
We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Priya Tahim a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Priya, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?
We are often asked to look back on our childhood and focus on the flaws that made us stronger. This question stood out to me because it’s the first time i’ve been asked what my parents did right versus what they could’ve done better. What did my parents do right? I often think about how lucky i am to have parents that have supported me unconditionally.
The first thing that stands out to me is that my parents immigrated from the United Kingdom in 1985, to build a better life for our family. I would say having the courage to leave their families behind, to virtually start over is the first thing they did right. This showed my sisters and i, growing up, that we are capable of doing the “hard things”. We are capable of starting over, following our dreams, and building a better life for ourselves.
Another thing my parents always instilled in our life was family. Living so far away from their own, my parents did a phenomenal job of creating a sense of community wherever we lived. Outside of our local community, we would spend every school vacations back in the United Kingdom building relationships with our cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles. I wouldn’t trade those relationships for the world.
My dad always showed my sisters and i the value of hard work. He would often travel on a weekly basis, sacrificing time with the family to build a better future for us Tahim girls. I didn’t understand it at first, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to appreciate how hard he has worked. I don’t remember a time where i didn’t have what i needed, or even wanted, as a child. Even at the age of 66, my dad is the hardest working man I know.
My mom, raising us three girls virtually solo, never let my sisters and i miss out on anything. From celebrating every holiday- big or small to teaching us how to be independent, young women….she truly is the epitome of supermom. My mother’s strength, ability to make anyone feel at home, and her big heart are all things that have impacted not only my life, but my career.
Looking back, the five main qualities my parents possess and passed down to me are: hard work, being persistent, caring, faithful, and courageous. All these qualities have made me the strong, independent woman i am today. My career as a psychotherapist and practice owner stems from these qualities, and i wouldn’t be as successful as i am today without these life lessons my parents taught and instilled in me.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
My name is Priya Tahim, and I’m a practice owner, therapist and author. Growing up as a South Asian woman in a predominantly “white” area was hard. I looked different, I was battling trying to fit in while staying true to my cultural roots. I think trying so hard to navigate both cultures created anxiety for me. Being South Asian, my family didn’t talk about feelings or emotions. So, I typically held things in. This caused me to feel anxious, timid, and I lacked self-confidence. I also was always on the heavier side, leaving me to feel like just because i wasn’t a size “0” that i wasn’t good enough. I grew up in a society where having “flat” body was the only attractive body.
My parents were, and still are the best parents. I’m blessed and thankful for them teaching my sisters and I all that they have (and still do)-but I still never felt like I fit in. Not to mention, I’m a middle child, so I always felt like I was competing for attention. That’s where my passion for helping others and mental health comes from. I want to give a voice back to those who never felt like they had one. I want to help others share their experiences with their family and break the stigma in our South Asian communities.
I created Kaur Counseling, as a safe space for those who have lost their voice. The name Kaur comes from my middle name and Sikh tradition. Kaur is a surname given to Sikh women that translates to “princess” or “crown prince”. The idea behind this surname was to create equality amongst men and women. I wanted to create a space that is EQUAL to all!
I think what sets Kaur Counseling apart is that I strive to create understanding and support through this therapeutic journey. Therapy is hard work, and sometimes it can feel like you’re not making any process. I want each client I work with, or my team, to know that there is a light at the end of the road, it’s just about taking small steps to get there.
We offer services in Washington, DC and Texas. My primary areas of expertise include working with individuals suffering from anxiety/depression, couples conflict, uncoupling, rebuilding intimacy in your relationship, infertility, PCOS, and self-esteem. I work with individuals from all cultures and backgrounds who feel dissatisfied or uneasy as an individual or within their relationships.
One of the things i’m most proud of is never feeling ashamed to admit that i don’t know something. People often put providers on a pedestal, thinking we know everything. Truth is, we are human. As i navigate my own life, my own trauma, my own life changes- i am constantly learning and growing. Taking and reflecting on my own growth, allows me to be a better clinician and practice owner.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
This question is hard, but doing the “hard things” is what helps impact others. Recently, i’ve gone through a major life transition. For the past eight years, i was told that i “wasn’t good enough” and that i was virtually “disposable.” I allowed the inner demons of another individual to influence how i felt about myself. It’s taken me many therapy sessions, being around and reuniting with loved ones, and acceptance to begin to unlearn that nobody can tell you how to feel. Nobody has the right to make you feel a certain way. Only you have that right. The biggest lesson i had to unlearn is taking back my own power.
Growing up, i always felt like my voice didn’t matter. This led me into relationships that didn’t serve me. I allowed myself to get lost in someone else’s demons. Taking back and finding my own voice over this past year has been the hardest, most rewarding time of my life. Doing the “hard thing” has been the thing i’m most proud of, the thing i’m most sure of, and the thing i’m most thankful for.
What do you think helped you build your reputation within your market?
In the “therapy” world, or even the world of “mental wellness”, i think reputation is extremely important. I strongly believe, word of mouth and fostering healthy relationships with your clients is the number one way to build reputation. We all have clients that may not be a good fit and as hard as that may be for a provider to hear, it’s actually one of the best things to recognize. By allowing yourself to see that you may not be everyone’s “cup of tea”, you’re allowing yourself to be able to point a client in a better direction. I would say my ability to be open, honest and upfront with my clients has allowed me to build relationships with them where they feel comfortable recommending myself or my practice to their peers. The rest just unfolds itself.
